This is going to be quick: the best way to ensure a child fails once he is on his own is to protect him from experiencing the consequences of failure while he is at home.
That's it!
When parents badger a teacher for extra credit to "bring up a failing grade" they are teaching little Sophie that there is always a way to weasel out of suffering the consequences for poor decisions.
Some purport that giving these extra credit opportunities to make up for failing grades will encourage students to do a better job "next time" but the reality remains that students learn to be lazy and creative excuse-makers.
"Well, I couldn't focus because my family had a reunion this weekend."
"Basketball practice went really late last night so I didn't have time to do a good job on the paper."
"I have really bad allergies and since I took my medicine early last night, I couldn't concentrate on studying for the quiz."
And on and on it goes.
We are not teaching our students to overcome obstacles and work hard even though the environment is not ideal. Instead, we are teaching students to come up with reasons why they could not do their best. We validate their excuses when we remove the consequences for failure. Removing consequences comes in many ways, some subtle and some obvious. Changing a grade. Offering a 15 point bonus question that a zombie could answer. Letting students redo a paper.
Naturally, there are some times when redoing a paper or changing a grade is necessary; I'm not addressing those situations where the teacher was unclear in her expectations, the whole class misunderstands a quiz or test question, etc. I am addressing the student who legitimately fails an assignment and is allowed to redo or make up for the poor grade.
An extra credit assignment once a quarter is a good idea and can encourage the struggling student with a grade boost near report card time, but students who realize that they can always get a "second chance"will never reach their full potential.
Is it any wonder high school graduates struggle to cope with college life? They are overwhelmed by consequence after consequence of their decisions: college professors who don't give a rip if they failed the test, the roommate who tosses their dirty laundry pile in the hall, the credit card debt--the list continues.
As horrible as it feels, let your son or daughter accept his/her low grade. Maybe it bumps them off the A/B Honor Roll. Maybe it will save them from a teenage pregnancy.
If you think I'm exaggerating, just take a quick look at the youth of America and how they are coping with life.
--Bekah
