An Open Letter From a Teacher to Her Students at the End of the School Year

Friends,

I'd like to share the words I gave my precious middle schoolers on the last full day of school for the 2015-2016 school year. Most of them knew I would not be their teacher next school year--God has called me to another teaching position. I knew I could not leave them without one last challenge. I needed to remind them what we had been through together, and for some, what they had been running from ever since I met them two years ago.

My words are passionate, hard, and truthful. But as I reflected about what words I should use to reopen this blog, I realized that my words to my students of this past year could really apply to any student I have ever taught.

I pray the words that the Holy Spirit impressed upon me will challenge, encourage, and motivate others to live for Christ even as all of the temptations of summer begin.

It is good to be back.

In Christ,

Rebekah Hawk

Farewell to My Freedom Students (But not Goodbye!)

3^rd John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” As we close this chapter of middle school, I know that this verse rings true for all of us teachers. We see you as our children because we have spent over 8 hours a day with you for this past school year, and we have been pouring our lives into yours the whole time. We have been broken and spilled out on your behalf, like the expensive perfume Mary poured on the feet of Jesus.

We have pushed you to improve yourself, we have corrected you—sometimes harshly—sometimes gently, we have prayed and cried with you, we have played games together, we sang together, we made vows together. We were hard on you because we know how hard life is. We know what you will face as you continue to grow up and take your place in this dark, dark world. We know that Satan desires to destroy your faith by saturating your heart with selfish desires and gorging your fleshly appetites on the rich delicacies of money, fame, and pleasure that this world offers. We know that the world you face is darker than the one we entered, and we tremble for you. We tremble because we are afraid of the judgment that you will receive at the hand of the Holy, Righteous God when He comes to make a reckoning. We know that you who have been given so much will be held accountable for the Word that was poured into your lives.

We have done our part, and we have to hope that you will reject the spirit of wickedness, apathy, and laziness that has struck your generation like a flesh-eating cancer, and embrace the God we have tried to teach you about with our words, our actions, and our lives. Now it is time to let you go, to realize and accept that we have done all we can do. We must commend you to Christ, and pray that some day soon we will hear that you are, in fact, walking in truth. Most of us are saying goodbye to you today—we will not be your teachers next year. Some of us have been called to other ministries, to pour our lives into others that God has prepared for us, some to the most important ministry of all—motherhood. Some of you will not be returning to this school next year—God has called you and your families to a new place.

We will miss you. We will pray for you. We pray for those of you who would not be reached. Our love and discipline could not reach you; you have remained rebellious, defiant, and hard to the voice of Christ. We ache for you because like Christ, we long to gather you beneath our wings like a mother hen, but you would not. We pray that God will not turn you over to a reprobate mind, but that He will continue to chip away at your heart of stone, and that you will come to know Christ and the power of His resurrection. We hope you will realize that everything we have done was done in love for you.

We also pray for those of you who have embraced the servant life of discipleship to Christ.  We are so thankful for you who have listened and obeyed, for you have been true encouragement and joy to us. We have seen through your lives that our labor is never in vain, and we exalt the name of Christ as you demonstrate your faith in tangible ways every day. We have seen your struggle to do right despite your sinful flesh, and we have tasted elation as you defeated the enemy, died to yourselves, destroyed pride, against all odds. We have tried to show you the joy it is to serve the Savior, and we have cried happy tears as we have seen that same joy reflected in your eyes when you tell us of answered prayers, as you forgive your enemies, as you embrace the role of Light-Bearer in a generation of darkness. We are so incredibly proud of you. We are proud of what you have allowed God to do in your lives.

            8^th graders, as you become Freshmen, we ask that you not forget the lessons you have learned with us. 7^th graders, as you become the leaders of middle school next year, we ask that you leave the childishness behind and become the young men and women of God we know you can be. 6^th graders, you have demonstrated that God does not put an age limit on service for His Kingdom; we trust that you will serve through your talents and gifts next year as 7^th graders. We ask all of you to recognize that the future of the church’s witness in this world depends on you; and we remind you that God will use someone else if you refuse to be used by Him. We love you, and we look forward to hearing that you all walk in truth.

What Women Want (to Wear)

I'm supposed to be folding laundry, organizing my desk, and working on an AP English course right now while my little monster is napping, but I scanned Facebook while I was eating my lunch and what I saw and read made me so angry I had to sit down and hash it out on the keyboard.

I read a blog post by a Christian woman called "My Husband Doesn't Need to See Your Boobs." Right away, the title let me know that I was in great company. I don't want my husband to see anybody's boobs except mine. The blog post reminded women that whatever their intention for posting pictures of their bikini bodies on Facebook or Instagram, those pictures make difficulties for marriages, specifically hers.

Ok, here's what made me angry: in the comments section of the post, scores of women blasted this woman for being insecure and making women responsible for what men think.

Please bear with me as I attempt to communicate a little bit of truth into this hornet's nest.

1. Every outfit that a woman wears is motivated by something.
When we want to be comfortable, we wear sweats. When we want to be intimidating, we wear a suit.
When we want to look attractive, we make sure everything we put on highlights our best features and minimizes our flaws.

When we want to look sexy, we show skin. Period.

Women who show skin want a particular man or men in general to find them sexually attractive.

2. A woman want who wants one man to find her sexually attractive is not necessarily wrong. 
I want my husband to find me sexually attractive, but I don't want anyone else to think I am sexy. I don't want my pastor, or my male students, or my friends' husbands, or strangers, or ANYONE ELSE to do a double-take when I walk by and think to himself, "DANG! She's hot!"

Of course, I am tempted to want that kind of reaction, but I don't really want it because the only one I want to have sex with is my husband. You had better not want to have sex with him. And I had better not want to have sex with anyone else because I promised him and God that I would only belong to him till death do us part. Maybe you think I'm being a bit crude here, but let's not forget why these skimpy outfits and bikinis are for sale--they get a reaction for the wearer. Which brings me to my next truth that

3. Sexy outfits are designed to make men think about sex. I realize that sounds a bit repetitive, but I am making the point that women can't walk around half-dressed and expect men to keep their minds off of sex. It simply will not happen. Men are visually stimulated-a scientifically proven fact-so a woman wearing a low-cut tank paired with Daisy Duke shorts WILL encourage him to think about her naked.

Why else do brand new wives put on all that uncomfortable lacy stuff during the honeymoon? Because the newly-married couple is going to have lots of sex, and brides KNOW that that lacy stuff gets her hubby going. (Do I need to repeat that she also wants her groom to find her irresistibly sexually attractive???)

4. What women want matters more than what they actually wear. This is the bottom line: if a woman wants to help men see her as a person, a female, a fellow worker, a platonic friend, a Christian sister, she will wear clothes that help him from thinking about her naked. If a woman wants to help men find her body visually stimulating, she will wear (or not wear!) clothes that help him to think about her naked. That is the hard, human truth.

Sure, tons of girls will swear innocence, and beg that they had no idea that their next-to-naked bodies were encouraging the men in their lives to think sexual thoughts about them, but who are we really kidding? Girls are not stupid, and even if they are motivated by negative circumstances to crave male attention whether positive or negative, they KNOW in their heart of hearts that sexy outfits cause men to think about sex.

5. Men and women are responsible for mens' thoughts. All of you women who are about to freak out on me just STOP. If you dress in such a way as to encourage men to think about sex, how can you say that thinking about sex was completely his idea?

If you are on a diet, and I offer you my fries, are you not, in fact, thinking about how delicious those fries will taste, regardless of whether you take me up on my offer or not? Didn't I INTRODUCE the thought of eating those fatty fries? Didn't I, in fact, TEMPT you to ditch your diet for just a few minutes for a couple harmless fries?

Even so, if you INTRODUCE the idea of sex in a man's mind through your provocative attire, you have played a part in TEMPTING him to go farther in his mind. Though he is still responsible for what he does with your invitation to dwell on sexual thoughts, you must not deny that YOU STARTED IT. Now, at this point, he CAN decide to quickly start thinking about his grandma, cuddly bunnies, or anything else to get his mind and body to REJECT that sexual impulse because that is his responsibility.

Wouldn't it be a lot easier on both of the genders if we women could stop and check our motivation for wearing something? If we could get past our selfish desires to be noticed and found appealing by men who do not belong to us, perhaps we could help our gentlemen friends out.

Perhaps, we could put sex back where it belongs: in the bedroom with a husband and his wife.

Now, to hurry and get my chores done before my favorite tornado wakes up!

Confounding the Mighty: Why Weakness is a Good Thing

Our culture tends to look at weakness as a negative trait. We do not respect those who appear weak; rather, we usually despise or pity them.

God begs to differ.

I read this morning that He uses the foolishness of preaching to save souls, and He uses the weak to confound the mighty. And that got me thinking.

Why do we cheer so heartily for an underdog? Why do we swell with pride when a special-needs child achieves some milestone? Why do we love it when the 'little man" shows up the jock?

Because it is beautiful when weakness wins. Weak people are supposed to lose, be last, and take whatever the strong people leave for them. Weak people are not expected to do anything awesome or exemplary because they are barely expected to survive.

But God has different ideas.

He CHOOSES weak people. He finds the unlikeliest and least promising people to turn the world upside down because He enjoys amazing strong people with what He can do through the weakest individuals.

So, if you find yourself weak today, or tomorrow, or you face a giant hurdle of weakness some day in the future, take quiet pleasure in the fact that, quite possibly, God is about to bring people to their knees because of how you handle the said weakness.

You can fight the weakness, or you can let Him have it. You can try to overcome your weakness by yourself, or you can simply admit that the situation, whatever you are facing, is too big for you to handle. In other words, you can choose to be a vessel that will confound the mighty. You can decide that God knows what He is doing, and even though it hurts, and it's not fair, and it's too much to deal with, He is going make something amazing happen with your piddly little weak self.

Why does God do this confounding of the mighty with weak people? He intends to remind humans that He can always do the impossible with whomever He chooses. Why else did God call a speech-impaired shepherd to lead millions of Jews out of Egyptian slavery to Canaan? How else does a harlot show up in Christ's lineage? Why in the world did He choose hotheaded fishermen, lowly publicans, and a bunch of women to spread the Gospel after His resurrection?

Because God can do anything with anyone. When He uses weak people to great things, He gets ALL the glory. Basically, He is showing us, once again, how incredibly BIG He really is.

So carry on, warriors of weakness! You are not alone.

For, in Christ, when we are weak, we are very strong.

My Favorite Job in the Whole World

Being a mommy is probably the best gig on the planet. Sometimes, it is also the worst. I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone’s, but I have learned a few important lessons on this roller coaster ride called motherhood.

1.     Let go of expecting perfection.

We mommies all start this journey with a picture in our dreamy heads of warm snuggles and beautiful moments of pure peaceful tranquility. Then reality hits, and you start to realize that the house will never be completely clean again all at once.  When I let go of being the perfect mom, and tried to just be a good mom, I started enjoying my new role much more. Meals do not have to be pinterest-worthy, the house does not need to be spotless, and I do not have to be back at pre-pregnancy weight in order for my child to know that I love her.

2.     Resist the temptation to do it yourself.

Raising a kid is hard work. It is even harder if you refuse to ask for help when you need a break or just a hand because junior won’t quit squirming during a catastrophic diaper explosion. I have learned that I am not supposed to be a mommy alone: I need my husband, my mom, my mother-in-law, best girlfriend. . . The list goes on and on. I do a much better job at this mom business when I ask for and accept the help around me—which goes hand in hand with

3.     Realize it can’t be your way all the time.

When you accept help from others, you must give your helpers the freedom to use their judgment with your child.  This is NOT easy, and of course, nobody is asking you to let go of your God-given rights as your child’s mother. But when you refuse to let Dad change diapers his way, or play with baby in his special way, and when you micro-manage every detail of junior’s life, you cripple the amazing resources you have been given. Also, every once in a while, the nursery will forget to feed or change your kid and you just have to let that go, remembering that your kid is alive and the nursery worker is human, too J

4.     Kids do not remember their first birthday party.

Give yourself permission to just make sure your adorable one year old is enjoying himself, and resist the urge to create the most magical birthday party complete with designer decorations. Invite the important people over and when that kid finally discovers his first birthday cake, those pictures are the only ones you’ll cherish in the years to come.

5.     Baby is not the center of the universe.

If you make baby your only focus, your family and community will suffer. You will suffer! It is totally normal to be all about your infant the first six to eight weeks, but you do need to rejoin society for you and baby’s benefit. Also, catering to every whim of an eight month old sets the stage for a belligerent toddler. I have learned that I am the adult, and I have to set the boundaries for my child; she does not have the wisdom or experience to make them for herself yet. The earlier my baby girl realizes that she does not get to control everyone around her, the better she will weather the storms she will face as she grows.

6.     Comparison motherhood is not healthy or helpful for anyone.

You do not need anyone’s approval to decide what is best for your child. Breastfeeding or not, vaccinations or not, co-sleeping or not is up to YOU. Decide what works best for you and refuse to question your mothering methods because the latest expert or all your girlfriends or your own mother has a “better idea.” Every woman is uniquely designed and shaped by her circumstances and choices to be a totally different person than any other mother on the planet—that means that she gets be a mommy identical to no one else! And I think that is fabulous. What works in your family may not work anywhere else in the world, but if it suits your little castle, then don’t seek anyone else’s approval, and certainly don’t demean others’ castle-tending methods!

7.     Time is a mommy’s most precious possession.

I have learned that my baby grows up ridiculously fast. Every day is an adventure for her as her amazing little mind absorbs life like a sponge—she learns and develops her skills at such an incredible rate that some days, I just stare at her in awe. I have realized that playing silly games with her on the floor, blowing bubbles in the back yard, putting the iPhone down to read Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? for the zillionth time in a day is the best gift I can give my princess. Dishes, grading my students’ homework, and “me time” can wait till she is asleep because very soon, she will not toddle or scream with laughter at bubbles, or shriek and run away from the vacuum cleaner. And while I welcome the new memories we will make as she grows into girlhood, part of me will mourn the passing of these baby years when she needs me so much.  It really does not matter what we do, so long as we do life together. This idea has become especially helpful to me as I am expecting our second child: on the days I am just wiped out, snuggling with my little girl watching Winnie the Pooh still counts as together time.

So you see, there is nothing earth-shattering or life-changing in these lessons I’ve learned, but they can all be summed up by saying that motherhood has changed me. Being a mom shows me my limits and challenges my decision-making capabilities on a daily basis. Motherhood shows me the selflessness of my own mom, and on some days, teaches me what true exhaustion really is. I can also testify that all that exhaustion is forgotten when my little girl smiles up at me, her brown eyes sparkling with mischief and fun. Being my baby’s mom is the most rewarding experience I have ever had—bar none J

It Doesn't Matter Where You Go To College

In all the recent hubbub of rising college tuition and rumors of government loan forgiveness, I took a moment to think about why students choose the colleges they do. Parents may have their own agenda, wishing Junior to attend their alma mater, or finances may dictate a community college to avoid a mountain of student loan debt. Students themselves fall into two main camps: the one-straight-and-narrow-school of choice and the I-have-no-idea-how-do-I-choose? camp. Some students choose their school based on the colors!

And I do understand that college is a big deal. If college is where people find themselves and make decisions that will shape their future, shouldn't where you go to college be of paramount importance? After all, do not most people find their mates on college campuses?

Unfortunately, I know many students and parents who choose schools for prestige, placement, and convenience instead of really evaluating the college's professors.

I believe that the place of education is not nearly as important as the people of a school. I did not attend a top-ranked school by national standards, nor did my alma mater win awards for breakthrough studies or literary publications. You see, I am not a good teacher because I use the greatest methods, have the perfect philosophy of education,  or implement the trendiest technology.

I teach well because I had good teachers.

The best methods do not inspire young people to go deeper into the course material. The most advanced technology will not encourage students to ask hard questions and ferret out their answers. Strong philosophy often produces the most boring and misunderstood teachers on college campuses!

Good college professors enabled me to find solutions to classroom issues and other sticky situations by being themselves and teaching by example. I watched them handle late work with consequences sometimes and grace other times, which taught me to always hear the student out, even if it seems like a waste of time. I listened to my teachers illuminate a literary text with a silly example or a tear-inducing personal story; consequently, I learned the value of making lessons relevant and interesting. I also learned to allow tardy students to enter my classroom with dignity when I saw my kindly college professor pretend not to notice the tear-streaked girl who entered his lecture after it was nearly over.

The truth is, a place does not guide, mold, and make a person better. Environment affects human development, to be sure, but one's college campus will never have the power of influence that teachers hold over their pupils. Good college professors challenge and inspire their students to change the world in their respective fields, while poor college professors practice hypocrisy, ramble on about nothing, test what they do not teach, and generally produce frustrated and often incompetent graduates. When overpaid and under-qualified professors "teach," the job market must require advanced degrees to gain proficient employees.

With the number of college graduates who cannot find work in their degree's field, the backward nature the American system of education emerges. Young people cram their high school transcripts with impressive GPAs, stellar extra-curricular involvement, and Honors/AP classes so they can incur incredible debt to go to the "best" school, and are frustrated beyond belief when they graduate and cannot get their dream job. Even more prevalent are the students who drop out of a college (or change to an "easier" major) because they could not understand its professors or their demands; these disillusioned folks slug their way from job to job trying to find out what it is they are supposed to do with their lives now.

My suggestion is this: when looking at colleges, inspect the teachers. Do they have degrees in their fields? Are they passionate about their subjects? Do freshman teachers care as much about their subject matter as professors who teach junior and senior classes? How do they behave toward the students? Are they respectful or disdainful? Do they burden students with too much work that has little course value, or do they challenge students with assignments that will make them think and grow in their field? The answers to these questions will help you decide if the teachers will help you or hinder you on your journey through higher education.

I had some life-changing professors, and a few I'd like to forget, but I believe my success in teaching high school so far is attributed to the strength of my teachers.

It doesn't really matter where you go to college so much as who teaches you at college.

May you be taught well.

Rebekah Hawk

How to Fail Your Students/Children

This is going to be quick: the best way to ensure a child fails once he is on his own is to protect him from experiencing the consequences of failure while he is at home.

That's it!

When parents badger a teacher for extra credit to "bring up a failing grade" they are teaching little Sophie that there is always a way to weasel out of suffering the consequences for poor decisions.

Some purport that giving these extra credit opportunities to make up for failing grades will encourage students to do a better job "next time" but the reality remains that students learn to be lazy and creative excuse-makers.

"Well, I couldn't focus because my family had a reunion this weekend."

"Basketball practice went really late last night so I didn't have time to do a good job on the paper."

"I have really bad allergies and since I took my medicine early last night, I couldn't concentrate on studying for the quiz."

And on and on it goes.

We are not teaching our students to overcome obstacles and work hard even though the environment is not ideal. Instead, we are teaching students to come up with reasons why they could not do their best. We validate their excuses when we remove the consequences for failure. Removing consequences comes in many ways, some subtle and some obvious. Changing a grade. Offering a 15 point bonus question that a zombie could answer. Letting students redo a paper.

Naturally, there are some times when redoing a paper or changing a grade is necessary; I'm not addressing those situations where the teacher was unclear in her expectations, the whole class misunderstands a quiz or test question, etc. I am addressing the student who legitimately fails an assignment and is allowed to redo or make up for the poor grade.

An extra credit assignment once a quarter is a good idea and can encourage the struggling student with a grade boost near report card time, but students who realize that they can always get a "second chance"will never reach their full potential.

Is it any wonder high school graduates struggle to cope with college life? They are overwhelmed by consequence after consequence of their decisions: college professors who don't give a rip if they failed the test, the roommate who tosses their dirty laundry pile in the hall, the credit card debt--the list continues.

As horrible as it feels, let your son or daughter accept his/her low grade. Maybe it bumps them off the A/B Honor Roll. Maybe it will save them from a teenage pregnancy.

If you think I'm exaggerating, just take a quick look at the youth of America and how they are coping with life.

--Bekah

Priorities in Parenting

Some of you are teaching parents. What I mean is, you have children now, and you still teach outside of the home. I had to clarify because all parents are teachers whether they consider themselves to be or not. My mom and dad taught me many lessons about life without meaning to; I am sure they would rather not have taught me some of the subliminal lessons I learned from observing their marriage firsthand.

You see, unfortunately, my parents separated and later divorced when I was sixteen years old. One of the lessons they taught me, true or not, is that their love was not worth the effort to stay married. However it pains me to share their lack of commitment, I must say that their fractured relationship is simply modern America’s norm for marriages. We do not expect young couples to stay together: sooner or later, something will come up that is simply irreconcilable and they will part ways, along with their assets and spheres. Children of said marriages become pawns, abandoned, and confused.

Here’s where you and I come in. We are married and we have children (I have one adorable baby girl) and we work at a high-demand job. Our work doesn’t end at the 3 o’clock bell. We have emails to write, lessons to plan, papers and quizzes and tests to grade, and lessons to evaluate (how did that concept go over with the kids?). We are constantly thinking about our precious students on the drive home, sighing in disgust as we grade their papers, or squealing with delight when we tell our spouses how they “got it.” (Ok, I squeal: maybe you don’t.) The point is, if we are not careful, we may teach our children that Mommy’s work outside the home is not as important as family life.

May I encourage you to commit to your spouse first? Even more important than spending quality time with our babies is the necessity of keeping the home fires burning. Make date night a priority. Put baby in the nursery when you go to church or formal functions so you can focus on each other. Schedule times of reprieve with your mate because if you don’t, the weeks will stack up. My husband and I have recently rediscovered the simple pleasure of taking a walk through the neighborhood. The fresh air helps us have fresh conversation. If you make your marriage priority number one, you will teach your children that the vows that you made to each other before they were born really mean something. You will teach them to consider the vows that they will make as grown children to be binding and worth investing in.

Finally, when you have the choice between playing with your kids and doing some prep work, play with your kids. While spouses and children will be understanding (I hope) at the end of a quarter/semester/year, they should not always expect to take the back seat to your job. Either you will stay up late after the munchkins have gone to bed, or you will reorganize the efficiency your time at school, or both.

Intentionally teach your babies (or your future babies!) the most important lessons about mommies and daddies: they need time together, they truly care about each other, and their love is worth hard work and personal sacrifices.

I could go on but my husband just woke up for the first time on this Saturday morning and I believe I hear my little girl waking up for the second time. Time to play!

Bekah