What Women Want (to Wear)

I'm supposed to be folding laundry, organizing my desk, and working on an AP English course right now while my little monster is napping, but I scanned Facebook while I was eating my lunch and what I saw and read made me so angry I had to sit down and hash it out on the keyboard.

I read a blog post by a Christian woman called "My Husband Doesn't Need to See Your Boobs." Right away, the title let me know that I was in great company. I don't want my husband to see anybody's boobs except mine. The blog post reminded women that whatever their intention for posting pictures of their bikini bodies on Facebook or Instagram, those pictures make difficulties for marriages, specifically hers.

Ok, here's what made me angry: in the comments section of the post, scores of women blasted this woman for being insecure and making women responsible for what men think.

Please bear with me as I attempt to communicate a little bit of truth into this hornet's nest.

1. Every outfit that a woman wears is motivated by something.
When we want to be comfortable, we wear sweats. When we want to be intimidating, we wear a suit.
When we want to look attractive, we make sure everything we put on highlights our best features and minimizes our flaws.

When we want to look sexy, we show skin. Period.

Women who show skin want a particular man or men in general to find them sexually attractive.

2. A woman want who wants one man to find her sexually attractive is not necessarily wrong. 
I want my husband to find me sexually attractive, but I don't want anyone else to think I am sexy. I don't want my pastor, or my male students, or my friends' husbands, or strangers, or ANYONE ELSE to do a double-take when I walk by and think to himself, "DANG! She's hot!"

Of course, I am tempted to want that kind of reaction, but I don't really want it because the only one I want to have sex with is my husband. You had better not want to have sex with him. And I had better not want to have sex with anyone else because I promised him and God that I would only belong to him till death do us part. Maybe you think I'm being a bit crude here, but let's not forget why these skimpy outfits and bikinis are for sale--they get a reaction for the wearer. Which brings me to my next truth that

3. Sexy outfits are designed to make men think about sex. I realize that sounds a bit repetitive, but I am making the point that women can't walk around half-dressed and expect men to keep their minds off of sex. It simply will not happen. Men are visually stimulated-a scientifically proven fact-so a woman wearing a low-cut tank paired with Daisy Duke shorts WILL encourage him to think about her naked.

Why else do brand new wives put on all that uncomfortable lacy stuff during the honeymoon? Because the newly-married couple is going to have lots of sex, and brides KNOW that that lacy stuff gets her hubby going. (Do I need to repeat that she also wants her groom to find her irresistibly sexually attractive???)

4. What women want matters more than what they actually wear. This is the bottom line: if a woman wants to help men see her as a person, a female, a fellow worker, a platonic friend, a Christian sister, she will wear clothes that help him from thinking about her naked. If a woman wants to help men find her body visually stimulating, she will wear (or not wear!) clothes that help him to think about her naked. That is the hard, human truth.

Sure, tons of girls will swear innocence, and beg that they had no idea that their next-to-naked bodies were encouraging the men in their lives to think sexual thoughts about them, but who are we really kidding? Girls are not stupid, and even if they are motivated by negative circumstances to crave male attention whether positive or negative, they KNOW in their heart of hearts that sexy outfits cause men to think about sex.

5. Men and women are responsible for mens' thoughts. All of you women who are about to freak out on me just STOP. If you dress in such a way as to encourage men to think about sex, how can you say that thinking about sex was completely his idea?

If you are on a diet, and I offer you my fries, are you not, in fact, thinking about how delicious those fries will taste, regardless of whether you take me up on my offer or not? Didn't I INTRODUCE the thought of eating those fatty fries? Didn't I, in fact, TEMPT you to ditch your diet for just a few minutes for a couple harmless fries?

Even so, if you INTRODUCE the idea of sex in a man's mind through your provocative attire, you have played a part in TEMPTING him to go farther in his mind. Though he is still responsible for what he does with your invitation to dwell on sexual thoughts, you must not deny that YOU STARTED IT. Now, at this point, he CAN decide to quickly start thinking about his grandma, cuddly bunnies, or anything else to get his mind and body to REJECT that sexual impulse because that is his responsibility.

Wouldn't it be a lot easier on both of the genders if we women could stop and check our motivation for wearing something? If we could get past our selfish desires to be noticed and found appealing by men who do not belong to us, perhaps we could help our gentlemen friends out.

Perhaps, we could put sex back where it belongs: in the bedroom with a husband and his wife.

Now, to hurry and get my chores done before my favorite tornado wakes up!

Confounding the Mighty: Why Weakness is a Good Thing

Our culture tends to look at weakness as a negative trait. We do not respect those who appear weak; rather, we usually despise or pity them.

God begs to differ.

I read this morning that He uses the foolishness of preaching to save souls, and He uses the weak to confound the mighty. And that got me thinking.

Why do we cheer so heartily for an underdog? Why do we swell with pride when a special-needs child achieves some milestone? Why do we love it when the 'little man" shows up the jock?

Because it is beautiful when weakness wins. Weak people are supposed to lose, be last, and take whatever the strong people leave for them. Weak people are not expected to do anything awesome or exemplary because they are barely expected to survive.

But God has different ideas.

He CHOOSES weak people. He finds the unlikeliest and least promising people to turn the world upside down because He enjoys amazing strong people with what He can do through the weakest individuals.

So, if you find yourself weak today, or tomorrow, or you face a giant hurdle of weakness some day in the future, take quiet pleasure in the fact that, quite possibly, God is about to bring people to their knees because of how you handle the said weakness.

You can fight the weakness, or you can let Him have it. You can try to overcome your weakness by yourself, or you can simply admit that the situation, whatever you are facing, is too big for you to handle. In other words, you can choose to be a vessel that will confound the mighty. You can decide that God knows what He is doing, and even though it hurts, and it's not fair, and it's too much to deal with, He is going make something amazing happen with your piddly little weak self.

Why does God do this confounding of the mighty with weak people? He intends to remind humans that He can always do the impossible with whomever He chooses. Why else did God call a speech-impaired shepherd to lead millions of Jews out of Egyptian slavery to Canaan? How else does a harlot show up in Christ's lineage? Why in the world did He choose hotheaded fishermen, lowly publicans, and a bunch of women to spread the Gospel after His resurrection?

Because God can do anything with anyone. When He uses weak people to great things, He gets ALL the glory. Basically, He is showing us, once again, how incredibly BIG He really is.

So carry on, warriors of weakness! You are not alone.

For, in Christ, when we are weak, we are very strong.