What Women Want (to Wear)

I'm supposed to be folding laundry, organizing my desk, and working on an AP English course right now while my little monster is napping, but I scanned Facebook while I was eating my lunch and what I saw and read made me so angry I had to sit down and hash it out on the keyboard.

I read a blog post by a Christian woman called "My Husband Doesn't Need to See Your Boobs." Right away, the title let me know that I was in great company. I don't want my husband to see anybody's boobs except mine. The blog post reminded women that whatever their intention for posting pictures of their bikini bodies on Facebook or Instagram, those pictures make difficulties for marriages, specifically hers.

Ok, here's what made me angry: in the comments section of the post, scores of women blasted this woman for being insecure and making women responsible for what men think.

Please bear with me as I attempt to communicate a little bit of truth into this hornet's nest.

1. Every outfit that a woman wears is motivated by something.
When we want to be comfortable, we wear sweats. When we want to be intimidating, we wear a suit.
When we want to look attractive, we make sure everything we put on highlights our best features and minimizes our flaws.

When we want to look sexy, we show skin. Period.

Women who show skin want a particular man or men in general to find them sexually attractive.

2. A woman want who wants one man to find her sexually attractive is not necessarily wrong. 
I want my husband to find me sexually attractive, but I don't want anyone else to think I am sexy. I don't want my pastor, or my male students, or my friends' husbands, or strangers, or ANYONE ELSE to do a double-take when I walk by and think to himself, "DANG! She's hot!"

Of course, I am tempted to want that kind of reaction, but I don't really want it because the only one I want to have sex with is my husband. You had better not want to have sex with him. And I had better not want to have sex with anyone else because I promised him and God that I would only belong to him till death do us part. Maybe you think I'm being a bit crude here, but let's not forget why these skimpy outfits and bikinis are for sale--they get a reaction for the wearer. Which brings me to my next truth that

3. Sexy outfits are designed to make men think about sex. I realize that sounds a bit repetitive, but I am making the point that women can't walk around half-dressed and expect men to keep their minds off of sex. It simply will not happen. Men are visually stimulated-a scientifically proven fact-so a woman wearing a low-cut tank paired with Daisy Duke shorts WILL encourage him to think about her naked.

Why else do brand new wives put on all that uncomfortable lacy stuff during the honeymoon? Because the newly-married couple is going to have lots of sex, and brides KNOW that that lacy stuff gets her hubby going. (Do I need to repeat that she also wants her groom to find her irresistibly sexually attractive???)

4. What women want matters more than what they actually wear. This is the bottom line: if a woman wants to help men see her as a person, a female, a fellow worker, a platonic friend, a Christian sister, she will wear clothes that help him from thinking about her naked. If a woman wants to help men find her body visually stimulating, she will wear (or not wear!) clothes that help him to think about her naked. That is the hard, human truth.

Sure, tons of girls will swear innocence, and beg that they had no idea that their next-to-naked bodies were encouraging the men in their lives to think sexual thoughts about them, but who are we really kidding? Girls are not stupid, and even if they are motivated by negative circumstances to crave male attention whether positive or negative, they KNOW in their heart of hearts that sexy outfits cause men to think about sex.

5. Men and women are responsible for mens' thoughts. All of you women who are about to freak out on me just STOP. If you dress in such a way as to encourage men to think about sex, how can you say that thinking about sex was completely his idea?

If you are on a diet, and I offer you my fries, are you not, in fact, thinking about how delicious those fries will taste, regardless of whether you take me up on my offer or not? Didn't I INTRODUCE the thought of eating those fatty fries? Didn't I, in fact, TEMPT you to ditch your diet for just a few minutes for a couple harmless fries?

Even so, if you INTRODUCE the idea of sex in a man's mind through your provocative attire, you have played a part in TEMPTING him to go farther in his mind. Though he is still responsible for what he does with your invitation to dwell on sexual thoughts, you must not deny that YOU STARTED IT. Now, at this point, he CAN decide to quickly start thinking about his grandma, cuddly bunnies, or anything else to get his mind and body to REJECT that sexual impulse because that is his responsibility.

Wouldn't it be a lot easier on both of the genders if we women could stop and check our motivation for wearing something? If we could get past our selfish desires to be noticed and found appealing by men who do not belong to us, perhaps we could help our gentlemen friends out.

Perhaps, we could put sex back where it belongs: in the bedroom with a husband and his wife.

Now, to hurry and get my chores done before my favorite tornado wakes up!