Priorities in Parenting

Some of you are teaching parents. What I mean is, you have children now, and you still teach outside of the home. I had to clarify because all parents are teachers whether they consider themselves to be or not. My mom and dad taught me many lessons about life without meaning to; I am sure they would rather not have taught me some of the subliminal lessons I learned from observing their marriage firsthand.

You see, unfortunately, my parents separated and later divorced when I was sixteen years old. One of the lessons they taught me, true or not, is that their love was not worth the effort to stay married. However it pains me to share their lack of commitment, I must say that their fractured relationship is simply modern America’s norm for marriages. We do not expect young couples to stay together: sooner or later, something will come up that is simply irreconcilable and they will part ways, along with their assets and spheres. Children of said marriages become pawns, abandoned, and confused.

Here’s where you and I come in. We are married and we have children (I have one adorable baby girl) and we work at a high-demand job. Our work doesn’t end at the 3 o’clock bell. We have emails to write, lessons to plan, papers and quizzes and tests to grade, and lessons to evaluate (how did that concept go over with the kids?). We are constantly thinking about our precious students on the drive home, sighing in disgust as we grade their papers, or squealing with delight when we tell our spouses how they “got it.” (Ok, I squeal: maybe you don’t.) The point is, if we are not careful, we may teach our children that Mommy’s work outside the home is not as important as family life.

May I encourage you to commit to your spouse first? Even more important than spending quality time with our babies is the necessity of keeping the home fires burning. Make date night a priority. Put baby in the nursery when you go to church or formal functions so you can focus on each other. Schedule times of reprieve with your mate because if you don’t, the weeks will stack up. My husband and I have recently rediscovered the simple pleasure of taking a walk through the neighborhood. The fresh air helps us have fresh conversation. If you make your marriage priority number one, you will teach your children that the vows that you made to each other before they were born really mean something. You will teach them to consider the vows that they will make as grown children to be binding and worth investing in.

Finally, when you have the choice between playing with your kids and doing some prep work, play with your kids. While spouses and children will be understanding (I hope) at the end of a quarter/semester/year, they should not always expect to take the back seat to your job. Either you will stay up late after the munchkins have gone to bed, or you will reorganize the efficiency your time at school, or both.

Intentionally teach your babies (or your future babies!) the most important lessons about mommies and daddies: they need time together, they truly care about each other, and their love is worth hard work and personal sacrifices.

I could go on but my husband just woke up for the first time on this Saturday morning and I believe I hear my little girl waking up for the second time. Time to play!

Bekah